Sunday, August 26, 2012

Chronicles of Being a Single Mom: Meditating

I haven't said much on the blog lately.
Life has just been so up and then down.
It's funny, my last post being entitled "Happiness Blooms."


I'm once again a single, single mom. It's so discouraging...being sure of something and having it taken away. When it comes to love, I'm pretty naive but at the same time, I can be pretty ruthless. I feel like my theme song should be "Crazy" by Patsy Cline.

I seem to fall much too quickly.

Heartbreak is terrible, no matter who you are, but when you've got a little one to tend to, it just makes it all the more difficult. The most recent relationship, came to a screeching, unexpected halt. Leaving me feeling completely hopeless, at least when it comes to my future love life.

I don't consider myself one to rely on a man/boy/dude to make me happy. At the same time, I'm totally aware that having a boyfriend/husband in your life has its own problems and difficulties.

Not only have I been dwelling on my newfound singledom, but I'm also left with the thought of "what the heck am I going to do with my life" looming over my head. I can't support a child by myself on a minimum wage job for the rest of my life?! I just can't quite figure it out. I've been feeling so unhappy, so lonely, so confused, so just blah, so stressed.

But today, I meditated more than usual. And by meditated I mean prayed. The best time to pray, for me, is when I'm rocking Indigo to bed. Few things make you more thankful than rocking a sweet, sleepy baby to sleep, as they drift off in your arms. I do have some things to worry about. I do have some things to be upset about. I do have reason to stress. BUT I have so much more to be thankful for (ugh for ending in a prepositional phrase). I can't have control over everything so I just have to be confident that my life WILL work out well. I have to remember that everything really, really does happen for a reason. I pray for guidance and happiness for all of the people in my life now..but I also have to pray for those in my future (future hubz, pointing my finger in your direction). I have to ask for guidance, and be confident that my requests and praises are being heard.

After my bit of meditation and prayer, I feel a lot better. I feel thankful. I'm not jumping for joy or anything....but I feel content.

I mean, just look at my child, how could I ever by unhappy?


  1. Hang in there sister! It will get better with time. Everything truly does happen for a reason. Love you!

  2. You seem to be SUCH a wonderful mama, don't worry. I am going through similar things, minus the beautiful little one though!

  3. I'm not sure if I've ever left a comment here before, but I just wanted to say that prayer definitely helps in every situation! Even though we have different stories, I'm single too and know how you feel (at least a little, little bit). Keep on praying! I'll pray for you, too!

    I'm not sure if you're familiar with this song, but Josh Wilson's Before the Morning is a great song to listen to when in need of hope + encouragement (at least it has been for me!).

  4. It will all be just fine. Keep praying/meditating~keep good/positive energy.

  5. what kind of camera do you have? i love all your pictures!

  6. Just found your blog and I was stunned by this post. So brave of you to share your honest heart. You have a very raw, real energy about you and I'm so excited to follow your journey :)

  7. You will find someone, you´ll see. Your photos are absolutely beautiful

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